Friday, July 16, 2010

A 8-Point Plan to Save the Postal Service

The Blog Tongue in Cheek has produced an innovative 8-point plan to save the Postal Service.   All 8-steps are actions that individual citizens can take to improve the financial condition of  the USPS.  They are:
  • Point 1 – We are applying for as many opportunities to receive junk mail as possible. To speed up the process we are also helping our neighbors get the picture by ordering junk mail for them as well.
  • Point 2 – We play chess… via postcard. With an average game lasting 40 moves, and the price of a postcard stamp currently set at 28 cents, that’s $11.20 handed back into the very capable hands of our favorite Governmental Institution. Not only is this helping us to remember the joy of receiving mail once again, but we are also feeling a sense of satisfaction in knowing our game will outlast the current presidential administration. Kellen and I are seven moves into our current game. In my most recent move I B6′d to his D5, if you catch my drift. He doesn’t stand a chance.
  • Point 3 – We are ordering our big-ticket items—speedboats, shipping containers, and mail order lutefisk—online. Not only does this give the USPS more to deliver, but it has the added benefit of helping to suage Kellen’s insatiable lutefisk habit.
  • Point 4 – We have become penpals with foreign dignitaries, professional athletes, and popes. Current corresponders include Usain Bolt, Neil Diamond, and Nikita Khruschev.
  • Point 5 – We plan to use stamps as wallpaper in our homes. Not only will this display our high sense of style, but it will also be a history lesson for our children. “Here we have the James Madison memorial stamp room, and over here is the Hello Kitty room…”
  • Point 6 – We are lobbying the USPS to begin selling ice cream out of the backs of their trucks.
  • Point 7 – We are writing letters to people who have been mean to us letting them know they never should have crossed us because we are now rich and successful Doctors and Senators.
  • Point 8 – From now on, comments to this blog will only be accepted via mail.
Link to the blog and see the details of this plan.

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